Physical Set Backs

Yesterday I completed the Chicago Rock n Roll 1/2 Marathon. I run this race every year as the hotel is given 10 complimentary registrations as part of the contracted room block we have for the expo staff and runners.
My time this year was a full hour behind previous years, but I do feel really proud of myself for finishing a 1/2 marathon at 17 weeks pregnant. Though it took a bit for me to feel that way.
My pride was hurting during the race. Especially when I had to admit that a distance I must have run 40-50 times between all the races and marathon training I've done, was physically just too demanding anymore. When I had to walk. When I tried to run again, and my body just wouldn't. I hate being the person walking during a race. I really hate it. And it's sad to admit that my pride was hurting even more than my body. I kept looking around thinking, "I hope people can tell that I'm pregnant." I was actually wishing my bump was larger to make it obvious to all that my handicap was not lack of preparation, determination, or athleticism. At one point, I even resented the way I had positioned my race number, thinking that the way it was folding out was making me look less pregnant and more like someone out of shape who had signed up for their first 1/2 marathon and not trained properly. I even considered stopping to readjust the safety pins.
I kept having to force myself to stop this way of thinking; telling myself that my body has limits now, and they are there for a good reason. Why is my pride so important that I needed to have strangers know why I was walking 1/4 of the race? I knew that I was doing the best I could physically do, and that should have been enough. This is definitely something about myself that I want to work on. In the past, I've judged others during races. I've even blogged about it. And I think my own judgmental attitude attributed to my feelings during Sunday's run. I know what my pre-pregnant self would've thought of me during the race, and there lies the problem. Why am I so quick to judge?
After some reassurance from Berto, a foot long sub, some icey hot, and a Teen Mom marathon on the couch, I truly became happy with my performance. After all, how many people complete a 1/2 marathon in their lives, let alone 17 weeks pregnant. Perspective!