12.28.2009

House Rehab Pics!

Just a few pics of the outside. There are almost 200 pics in my Facebook album Extreme Makeover:Foreclosure Edition.




The work is by no means finished. We are still working on the 1st floor bathroom, fence, and getting the garage door to work, but we are finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! Some more future projects for the spring include getting the pool up and running and landscaping the backyard, but it's very exciting to have the house finished enough that we can have people over and not feel as stressed about it each and every day! Hopefully our housewarming party will be coming up soon!

12.16.2009

HOARDERS!

So my mom and I are obsessed with the show Hoarders on A&E. The show makes me physically ill, yet I can't stop recording it, watching it, and showing it to others.
Based off a Facebook post by an old high school friend, I set the DVR to record it. Not expecting much, I casually put it on one weekday a couple weeks ago while I was doing homework. I like to have mindless TV shows on in the background while I'm doing work. Somehow it actually does keep me focused.
I found that Hoarders is NOT something that can be casually on, however. It keeps my eyeballs glued to the screen. I can't miss a single shot of the horror and filth that these people live in.
The beginning titles of the show explain that "hoarding is a mental disorder marked by an obsessive need to acquire and keep things, even if the items are worthless, hazardous, or unsanitary."
Augustine was the subject of the first show. Augustine lost her dogs and her son more than 10 years ago because of the condition of her home. She has had no running water for 6 years!!!! The village is about to condemn her house if she does not comply with a mandated clean up. Her family members and workers come by to help clean out over 3,000 pounds of garbage!!! Some highlights from Augustine's home:

- Turntable for the microwave found in the middle of the landfill that was sitting in family room. She picked it up and put it back in.

- Dentures found at the bottom of the family room. She kept them.

- 2 CATS...flat as pancakes found at the bottom of the pile. Augustine's daughter predicted the cats had probably been dead for about 10 years.

When Berto came home from work, I immediately had to show it to him! We sat and ate dinner watching it, and I realized, it completely took away my appetite. I am not a squeamish person when it comes to eating. I can talk about pretty much anything while eating, or watching just about anything and continue to eat ravenously. But looking at Augustine's house, actually made me sick and unable to enjoy my dinner!

It's the shock factor, and I am obsessed! I highly suggest everyone watch the show! Some highlights from other episodes of season 2:

- Woman who had no where left to sleep bc her house was so full of trash, so she strapped herself in to a medical/potty chair at night.

- Same woman almost died because she fell out at night and was stuck in garbage. They found her wearing nothing but a snuggie and an adult diaper.

- Bathroom filled ceiling to floor, wall to wall, with USED adult diapers. Upon cleaning out the bathroom, workers found that the acid from her urine had actually eaten a hole through her bathroom floor!

- Woman who runs to her neighbors house to fill up a bucket to flush her toilet bc she has no running water.

- Pet goats eating through siding, insullation, and drywall leaving a big hole in bedroom wall. Possums and racoons now live in the bedroom instead of her.

- Man about to be evicted from his apt due to hoarding and roaches literally diving in a dumpster to find more "treasures."

12.05.2009

The Rhino Diet

So I noticed recently that a lot of my tweets contain some of the crazy things that Berto says or does...

11/21 Berto can smize better than Tyra
11/6 Berto wants to look like Daniel Day-Lewis in The Age of Innocence on our wedding day!!?
10/22 Berto wants to lick Padma's scar!!! EWWWW!!!
9/24 Berto just did the piggy rhyme on my toes, and he honestly thought the third little piggy had groceries instead of roast beef!
9/16 Berto actually suggested that any future son we'd have should wear a weighted helmet as baby to ensure a strong neck + athletic aptitude!!!!
9/13 Berto wants a reality show about finding the best teacher - there would be all kinds of classroom challenges and teach-offs!

Some of the more interesting things I've noticed after living with Berto for almost 2 years, however, is the random ways that he puts food together. He blames it on growing up poor. But, he still does it even though we are clearly living comfortably. I mean, I even shop at Jewel pretty regularly rather than strictly Aldi. Some examples of his crazy eating habits:

Cereal of any kind is mixed: It's almost like the same fascination I used to have with slushy machines, where I always wanted to mix all the flavors together to see what would happen. What happened was a brown-colored, nasty tasting slushy. That's what Berto's mixtures are, although he loves them. Coco Rice mixed with Fruity Rice mixed with Honey Puffs and Granola?

Bread goes with anything: This sounds harmless enough. A piece of bread and butter can certainly compliment any meal, right? But Berto eats plain, 99cent, play dough texture, "lily-white" (as my mom always used to call it) bread with everything; mostaccoli, lasagna, chili, rice, vegetables, tuna. And as you've probably guessed, this is not a simple side of bread and butter. The bread works as a tortilla, scooping up anything that can be made into a make-shift taco, or worse, palming the bread and capturing bites of food off the plate similar to the way I would hold a kleenex to capture a spider. Perhaps this was a solution to not enough clean silverware for every meal in a financially strained family of 7? It's rather barbaric the way he conquers the food from plate to mouth with only his hand. The most infamous was Berto wrapping bread around a piece of string cheese like a hot dog, even squirting ketchup on it!

Ketchup can go on anything: Again, I like ketchup a lot. I even eat it on potato chips which some have thought was weird. But again, string cheese, bread, and ketchup? Ketchup on pizza, isn't it already tomato-ey enough? Ketchup on a turkey sandwich? Perhaps ketchup was the only condiment available growing up, but that's not the case now. Why continue this madness?

I actually thought about setting up a twitter feed strictly for the gross-factor of some of the things he eats, similar to @shitmydadsays. No progress on that yet.

7.27.2009

What a Summer

We closed on the house July 10th! The entire renovation process is taking much longer than anticipated. We'll move in by Aug. 15th with a 1/4 of a kitchen, and probably 1 livable bedroom and bathroom. Berto has been working so hard doing landscaping, ripping up carpet, and tearing out the old kitchen cabinets and counter tops among other demo work. I'm finally on vacation starting Friday until next Thursday to help strip wallpaper, paint, and pack to move. It will be so exciting when it's all completed, but it's just such a hassle and headache right now. And now that the contractor's have won the business, they are slow to return my phone calls and get anything started...
Wedding plans are coming along slowly but surely. We have the place, the caterer, the church (hopefully, we meet w/ the Priest on Saturday), the videographer, the photographer, a coach bus for the bridal party and to shuttle guests to/from the hotel, a photo booth for the favors (which I am super excited about!), and my dress!

5.28.2009

We're Engaged!


It actually happened on Mother's Day, but I've been too busy to update! The date is set, May 15th 2010! And of course our obligatory Knot.com page.

4.26.2009

The Zombie Contingency Plan

Apparently it is normal for all men to have such a thing! Last night Berto received a call from our friend John. Him and his wife, Stephanie, were "arguing" over whether or not every man had one, and John called Berto for proof. Turns out, Berto also has one, which includes boarding up the house and getting a hold of a gun to blow their heads off. Shocked, amused, and intrigued by their insistence that every man has one - I posted it to my Facebook status.

Needless to say the response was overwhelming!

The link is to the Wikipedia page about the book The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead published in 2003 by Max Brooks. There are six chapters - The Undead: Myths & Realities, Weapons and Combat Techniques, On the Defense, On the Run, On the Attack, and Living in an Undead World. The book explains that the M1 carbine and the machete are the best weapons to "confront the undead", how to turn a building into a base, and the "rules and necessities of traveling through zombie-infested territory"!

Berto also questioned his friends about their contingency plans.


My favorite response:

Anyone else have a Zombie contingency plan? Please share!

4.23.2009

New Nike Plus

After 7 months, 800.52 miles, 128 hours, and 77,000+ burned calories, my Nike Plus shoe sensor has stopped working. Apparently it's normal for the shoe sensors to last around 6 months or 500 miles, so I did get the most out of mine before having to buy a new one. I did my first run and calibrated my new sensor yesterday, and I'm a little disappointed that the technology doesn't save my work out history. I have to start all over at 0. I'm proud of what I've accomplished, and now it's just gone. I haven't hooked it up to NikePlus.com, so hopefully my workout history will remain there, but I have a sinking suspicion that it will so be back to zero as well.

4.16.2009

Really?

This is the email I just opened...

What? Seriously? What sort of scam is this, and who in their right mind would respond to such a thing from a complete stranger?

3.22.2009

Wild Geese and Corn Chex

My grandpa was truly an amazing wood carver. Over his lifetime, he carved and painted animals of all shapes and sizes that have been passed down to my mom, my aunts, and all of us grandchildren. When Berto and I were at the National Portrait Gallery in DC this summer, I even came across carvings on display that looked like replicas of my grandpa's carvings.

Though he carved and painted all kinds of animals, including a Noah's ark with animals marching in two by two, my grandpa by far preferred to create birds. On my parent's 3-season porch is a giant eagle with a wingspan of 3-4ft. In the family room, is a large owl like the picture above, perched on a tree branch with glass eyes. Another of his favorites was to take a real tree twig and attach carvings of miniature birds making the twig a full-size tree by scale. After his death in 2005, each of us grandkids took home a carved duck. Mine sits on the floating shelves in our living room.
Probably the bird that he carved the most, however is a wild goose.

He just loved these birds. In my grandparents yard, there were standing carvings of geese that were so realistic that I often looked out the window and thought they were real.
The gym of the Hyatt where I work out each morning before work has floor to ceiling windows that face McCormick Place Square over the roof of the Regency Ballroom. While running this past week, there's been a pair of wild geese hanging out on the roof every morning. They waddle around together, pick at the grass planted on our "green" roof, and occasionally fly a lap around the square before landing back on top fo the ballroom. Every time I see these two geese, I think of my grandparents. It makes me think that if they were to come back to earth, they'd want to come back as a pair of geese. No cares in the world, just flying, and enjoying each other's time, my grandpa finally experiencing the world of the animal he spent so much time creating over his lifetime.

In other news, I'm writing on a new Macbook after dumping a bowl of Corn Chex my old one. What a waste. $1500 on my newly paid off credit card for the new computer, file transfer, external hard drive, and Geek Squad 2-year service and insurance plan. I figured if I would've had that the last time, I wouldn't be paying for the replacement. Why is it that every time you think you might be getting ahead, something has to happen to take you two steps back?

Look at this Turd Burglar

3.20.2009


Loving Google's recognition of the first day of spring with a knod to The Hungry, Hungry Caterpillar.

2.17.2009

Official Marathon Pics

I caved and bought the extremely over-priced official race pics.



Hydrocodone is my Friend




Disgusting, I know, but I can't stop looking at my teeth. I can't imagine those long, bloody roots being inside my mouth 5 days ago. I was able to eat pasta somewhat successfully last night, and I've had good luck with heavy soups. I just can't handle any more ice cream and pudding. Ughh...dairy.
Yesterday was my first day back at work, and I had to leave early. The effects of the Vicodin weren't noticeable at home watching HGTV & 90210 with an ice pack on my jaw, but yesterday after my afternoon dose, I nearly fell asleep at my desk with the spins. Here I am today at my desk debating today's dosage. I'm thinking I'll cut the pill in 1/2. I don't know if I'm brave enough to go without it yet.

2.13.2009

TLC Obsession

I cannot stop watching these awful true life stories on TLC.

Mermaid Girl
With no vagina or rectum, Mermaid Girl Shiloh has to attach large bags to holes in her stomach to collect her bowel movements. She walks around with her shit hanging off of her until her Dad changes the bags for her once a day. Wow!

The Woman with Giant Legs

Mandy Sellars has proteus syndrome which is a congenital skin disorder causing skin overgrowth and atypical bone development often accompanied by tumors.

















Pregnant for 46 years

A 75-year old Moroccan woman gave birth to a calcified, full-term ectopic baby that miraculously did not kill her for 46 years after fusing with her abdominal wall and internal organs!

"In 1955, in a small village outside Casablanca, Zahra Aboutalib went into labour. Forty-eight hours later, the baby still hadn’t shifted and Zahra was rushed to hospital. There, Zahra looked on as a young woman died in agony on the operating table. There was only one thing for it; she turned and fled in panic, convinced she would suffer the same fate. Days of excruciating pain followed, and then the pains faded out. In Moroccan culture, it is believed that babies can live inside a woman’s womb to protect her honour and Zahra took on this “sleeping baby” myth. Zahra cast the pregnancy from her mind and many decades passed, during which time she adopted three children and became a grandmother." -- five.tv

1.18.2009

26.2








Well, I did it! I was really nervous. The farthest I had gone prior to race day was 21 on a treadmill, during which my knees and ankles began to ache from the impact. I was also nervous because with the tapering down you're supposed to do, I felt as though I was out of practice and lazy.
Berto and I flew into Orlando last Friday night after work and stayed at the Hyatt at the airport. The next morning, we went to the Hyatt Grand Cypress Resort in Orlando which is closer to Disney World. We picked up my registration packet and stuff and then I did my last run, just a quick mile and a half. The hotel has a nice jogging path around a lake, so Berto went with me.
I was nervous most of the day. I over analyzed everything that I ate trying to make sure I wouldn't have any uncomfortable bowel issues during the race. I had had some moments during training... We had to go to bed aroud 7pm, because we needed to wake up at 3:30 in order to get over to Epcot for the race at 6am. Chicago time that meant we were waking up at 2:30am.
I couldn't sleep that night. I must've woken up every 1-2 hours in a sweat thinking that I overslept and missed the entire reason we were in Florida. But, I didn't oversleep, and we arrived right on time after sharing a cab with two other marathoners staying at the Hyatt.
The marathon website had a fan route builder, so Berto had a schedule of where to go to see me along the way. I left him to follow his route, and began the .6 mile walk to the starting line. The lines to the port-a-potties for last minute peeing were 40+, and as we walked in the dark, you could see shadows coming in and out of the woods. Guys more stood more openly at the tree line while girls would disappear into the brush. I was still very nervous about having the go during the race, and knew I didn't have time to wait for the port-a-potty, so I followed two girls who looked my age into the woods where they had found a secluded, down-hill hiding place to pee!
After my squat, I felt ready to go and made my way to my starting corral, Corral H. AKA, the loser's corral apparently. We were the very last to start. After a welcome from Mickey, Donald, and Goofy, it took us what I found out later to be a little over 12 minutes to cross the starting line after the race clock started.
I spent the first 3 miles running in the grass on the side of the road passing people up. Before we had even hit the 1 mile mark, so many people from my corral were walking that it was difficult to maintain my goal pace of a 10-minute mile. I was weaving in and out of people, sometimes running through them, looking for any opening to maintain my pace. The first cheering section was at mile 2, but I couldn't even look for Berto. I was too focused on trying not to run into anyone. It was also still pretty dark out and difficult to make anyone out in the crowd. Right as we entered Epcot center, the path became so narrow that the people in front of me actually came to a complete stop for about 15 seconds while everyone shuffled through. I knew I needed to make up time later.
After we made it through Epcot, the path cleared up as we ran on the freeway toward the Magic Kingdom. Around mile 8, we saw the sun rise and ran through the second cheering section. Berto had taken the tram from Epcot to the parking lot outside the Magic Kingdom, and I actually saw him this time in between checking my pace on my iPod. I was feeling great around mile 9 when we saw our first of the Disney characters. If you weren't running for time, you could stop and take pictures with them all over the course. In Magic Kingdom, we saw Mulan, Mary Poppins, the Chipmunks, Mickey again, and so many others I can't even remember. We went down Mainstreet USA, through FutureLand and then up through Cinderella's Castle. You could wait in a line of about 25 to have your picture taken in front of the castle, but since I was still making up time from the first 4 miles, I opted out. The entire pirate ship from the Pirates of the Carribbean show was out along the track with Jack Sparrow and other sailors yelling out to "put some wind in our sails."
As we exited the park, there was another cheer section that Berto had walked over to from mile 8, I think this was somewhere around mile 12 or 13. Berto had the perfect photo op. I saw the red light begin to flash and knew based on the delay of my camera that he was going to get a great shot, until right at the last second this big sweaty man moved right in the front of me! The only pic Berto ended up getting was me from behind. Great!
The next 4 miles are really a blur. I don't remember much except for choking down my first energy gel pack. I could smell when we started to get close to Animal Kingdom; animal shit. I think it was my favorite park to run through though, because it was shady and looked like the jungle taking us up over bridges and around loops. There were steel drum bands, and I remember seeing Baloo and King Louie.
Once we exited the park, I knew the hardest part of the race had arrived. The next 3 miles ran through the Animal Kingdom parking lot and onto a long stretch of uphill highway towards Disney's Wide World of Sports Complex. There was little to no entertainment along this stretch except for one band at mile 20, before we turned around and backtracked for .5 mile! After the backtracking, I was really starting to feel pretty bad. We ran on a crooked off-ramp which hurt my already aching knee and hip. At this point, more people were walking around me than were running. I really wanted to take a walk break, but I knew I was so close to being done, and one of my goals I had set for myself was to never walk! We entered MGM Studios where we saw the Incredibles, the Monsters of Monsters Inc. and ran through a tunnel showing us Disney's costume making dept.
We passed mile 24 just outside of MGM, and I knew I was almost there! We ran along a path through a Disney resort and along some sort of dock to mile 25. There was a shooting pain in my knee and hip every couple hundred yards. The sun was fully-shining now, and it was getting pretty hot. I know I must've been looking pretty rough, because now all along the course, strangers were yelling out words of encouragement to me, reading my name off my bib. The last mile took us around the lake in Epcot Center, around all the different countries of the Epcot "world." I was really hurting, but there was no way I was stopping now. We finally made it to mile 26, and before I knew it, I rounded a corner and suddenly the finish line was only a hundred yards away! Determined to finish strong, I sprinted as hard as I could towards to the finish line raising my arms for the photographers whose lenses were moving back and forth trying to capture every runner's victory moment from their bridge over the finish line. As soon as I crossed the finish line and began walking, I instantly began crying. I don't remember feeling overwhelming emotion or feeling like I needed or wanted to cry, but the tears were just unstoppable. We walked to the station to have our time chip cut off and as the teenager snipped it off my shoe and said "Good job!" I cried even more. As a young girl placed a medal around my neck and told me "Congratulations!" I bawled! After telling this to my sister later, she suggested that people probably thought I was really obese at some point in my life and lost a lot of weight and ran a marathon. Maybe they just thought I was crazy. Either way, I continued to cry as each person at the photo, drink, food, and bag claim stations congratulated me. I met back up with Berto, still crying, and he congratulated and then made fun of me for crying. I couldn't barely walk anymore by this point, and I finally realized that I hadn't had to go to the bathroom anywhere during the race, completely unlike my other long runs! As soon as I remembered that I hadn't gone, I had to go instantly! After a quick stop, we found a cab back to the hotel for my normal after long-run routine; an ice bath followed by icey hot.
When I crossed the finish line, the clock said 4:37 and some seconds. Since we had had to wait awhile to cross the starting line, so I knew I must've finished under my goal of 4:30:00. Also the time on my iPod was around 4:24. Later that afternoon, the time from my chip was officially posted at 04:25:04.
Berto and I spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool. I ate a gigantic cheeseburger and fries for the first time in months from the hotel's pool cafe. It was amazing! That night, I really wanted some more greasy food, so we went to the nearby Buffalo Wild Wings and celebrated with some fru-fru drinks for me and a pitcher of beer for Berto.
The next morning, we ate at the hotel restaurant. Still unable to walk normally up the 3 stairs from the restaurant floor to the host stand, I struggled up holding onto the railing, unable to bend at the knees. I was so embarrassed when the restaurant manager said to Berto, "wow, she looks really full, huh?"
I wasn't able to walk normally until Wednesday. I did my first run on Thursday. I guess you're supposed to take a full week off of running after doing a marathon, but I just couldn't NOT run.
Overall, the marathon is the hardest, most awful, yet most satisfying and happiest experience of my life. At mile 24, I remember thinking that I never wanted to run another one again. I imagine the feeling is like giving birth, on a smaller scale of course. Agony during the moment, but looking back, you don't remember the pain, only the complete joy and satisfaction afterwards. I definitely want to stay in running shape and train for the Chicago Marathon in October. Berto says he will even run this one with me.

1.05.2009

What The Facebook?

After editing some simple email settings on my facebook acount 2 weeks ago, I have now been unable to access my Facebook account for around 13 days. It is not merely a question of forgetting my password (which is NOT the case), but Facebook actually tells me that my email address is not registered to Facebook although I continue to receive daily updates at the same email. I contact Facebook daily through their "Contact us" on the log in troubleshooting page, to no avail. I understand that it's the holidays, but come on. A 2 week response time to an inquiry is simply poor customer service in my opinion. Eventhough Facebook is not a paid service, do users not deserve a reasonable response time? Especially in this day and age when users rarely go 1 full day without logging in, let alone 2 weeks. I need my account back, if only so I can stalk my "friends" to see who got engaged or posted new pictures over the holidays. In this Facebook-less existance, I've actually taken up knitting again. I made Berto a really nice velvety, red scarf to wear with his top coat. It's a much more productive use of my time, but I want my newsfeed back already! C'mon Mark Zuckerberg. Seriously.

1.01.2009

Tree Man!



We watched a special last week on TLC about Dede AKA "Tree Man." This is too horrifying not to share. Indonesian fisherman, Dede, has an immuno difficiency that makes his body unable to combat these infectious warts! If you think this is unbelievable, check out this clip from the show where you meet Dede's traveling circus companions! www.discoverychannel.co.uk/videos/my-shocking-story-treemans-clan