Cloth Diaper Dropout

We used disposable diapers during our recent trips to Nashville and Florida, and it was oh so convenient! While cloth diapering hasn't been THAT difficult, I have to say that my value of life greatly improved when I wasn't worried about doing the laundry every day. When we got back from Florida, we used the remainder of the disposables and then went back to cloth diapers for a week. And then it hit me, hard. Why am I doing this to myself? If it makes my life that much easier, why not just make the switch to disposables? What is so wrong with my wiring that changing to disposable diapers is like such a failure to me?
Sure we tried it, sure we probably saved some money in the beginning when there were more diaper changes, but if I can enjoy more time with my daughter in the 2 hours (maybe) that I have with her when I get home from work and less time doing the laundry, then shouldn't it just be an easy, non-agonizing decision? I could argue my resistance was because we already invested money in the cloth diapers, but really we didn't invest that much and she would be due for the next size up soon anyway. And inside I know it's just my own stubbornness that I don't like to admit when I can't do something.
I would do cloth diapers again in the beginning without a doubt. When someone is home to do the laundry all the time, it really is simple and cost efficient. But, with both parents working, it wasn't working for us. And. there's. nothing. wrong. with. that.
Plus, I am a coupon and discount queen. We are Sam's Club members. In the last 3-4 weeks, disposables have really only cost us about $30, and we still have at least another 2 weeks left in supply. We've spent money on worse things, like last Sunday night's pizza delivery, which was more than $30 just for the 2 of us. And we ate it all. That should be what's hard to admit!
On another thought - I apologize that this blog has become all about Johanna. Normally, I enjoy looking back at my entries and reading what I was thinking at the time. While reminiscing through some posts as of late, I thought, really, Liz? You posted in that much detail about trying to breastfeed? Who cares? Did you think anyone wanted to read that? I apologize for whoever does read this blog and blame my postpartum zombie-like state. Shit happens when you don't sleep for 2 months. Also in my defense, I blog about my life and what's going on in it, and being a new parent is all consuming. My life IS Johanna, and that was never more true than those first few weeks at home.