So after rereading my last post, I feel the need to write more about breastfeeding/pumping and the workplace.
I think I sounded more horrified than I actually was about pumping in a room full of strangers. It actually didn't bother me too much. Physically I was covered, so whatever. But, I am also not a shy person.
I could only imagine what a modest mother might have gone through when being told it's her civic duty to pump breast milk in a jury room of 11 peers that she has just met. It probably would've caused more post traumatic stress than the plaintiff claimed she had!
While from most people I get sympathetic/understanding/good for you smiles when I am forced to pump in public places, there are also a number who glare, stare, and look at me like a crazy person! To those people my response is generally to roll my eyes and let them get over it since they are usually just in passing. Still, in the jury room, I found myself apologizing to everyone and profusely explaining that I tried to not be there.
WHY? Why should I apologize? Why do we all need to feel uncomfortable? We all know what's going on under there, but does it have to be so damn taboo?! We all can't be stay at home mothers. Most of us can't even get a decent maternity leave, but that doesn't mean we don't want to do the best for our kids. And if that means YOU have to feel a bit uncomfortable about what's going on under my nursing cover and what that whirring sound is, then DEAL WITH IT! Because guess what? As uncomfortable as you think you are, you are not the one with your shirt and bra hanging around your neck for the world to see while your nipples are being suctioned 3 inches long!
During pregnancy and in the hospital, we're encouraged to breastfeed and told how great it is etc. Yet, most of us have to return to work before we can even establish proper breastfeeding, before we have even emerged from a sleepless haze, and carrying your pump and ice pack all over the place is just a damn PAIN IN THE ASS! And I'm in a work place where I'm at least provided a private place and can take breaks when needed. I can only imagine the adversity moms are up against in lower paid, hourly positions or small businesses. Most women aren't informed that it's their right in Illinois to be provided a private place, not a bathroom stall, to express milk. Other women may be scared to boldly demand their rights in the workplace for fear of their boss's response, again, because there is so much taboo around the topic. I'm writing this, and I didn't even strongly enough stand up for my rights, as apparently this Illinois jury act, Ill. Rev. Stat. ch. 705 § 305/10.3, should've allowed me to be released from jury duty whether I already had a 6 month extension previously granted or not. And Illinois is one of the most forward thinking states when it comes to breastfeeding. I am shocked and appalled by the number of states that have no laws whatsoever regarding a nursing mother's right to pump in the work place. It's no wonder so many women stop breastfeeding and get formula through WIC. How many millions of women would not be doing that if they had a decent maternity leave and some support for breastfeeding in the work place? What is the National Debt again?
Most moms I work with didn't make it beyond 2 months breastfeeding and treat me like an anomaly. "I can't believe you are STILL pumping!", "I could never have made it that long, good for you!" It may sounds like I'm patting myself on the back here now, and well, so what if I am a bit? To anyone who's breastfed a baby exclusively for 9 months, 7 of which while working a 50-60 hour work week, I salute the hell out of you!!! It can take a thick skin and a strong will. And if you don't have enough confidence to give "fuck you" looks to all the staring idiots or enough balls to tell your boss that I need to pump NOW, then you get mommy-guilt-ed by the rest of society about why you stopped breastfeeding. Don't you know how good it is for the baby?
We've come a long way in the last century in equality for women. Instead of hiding at home while we are in "delicate condition", we now proudly display our baby bumps. But what about our breast pumps?
10.22.2012
10.17.2012
Serving My Civic Duty
While I could be posting about our fabulous Toddlers & Tiaras party, plans for Halloween, and our upcoming birthdays, or just more of Johanna's recent accomplishments etc. I feel compelled to share about my recent service to our country.
It was definitely an experience! Everyone goes to jury duty hoping to not be picked, and I was no different.
I received my first summons when Johanna was about a month old. I called them and was forced to mail in a letter along with a copy of her birth certificate to prove that I was unable to serve. I then received another summons in the mail in August. I called again to say that I was still breastfeeding my child and could not serve, but apparently you are only expected to breastfeed your kids for 6 months bc the nightmare on the other end of the line at the 1800-go-to-hell Cook County office indifferently rebutted that I had already been given a 6 month extension and that's all I get. So even though it was a particularly busy week at work, I accepted my fate.
As it got closer, I thought, this actually won't be so bad. I'll just go sit there all day. I can take my new iPad (it's for "work", at least paid for by them anyway) and stream Netflix or finally start the oh-so-terribly written 50 Shades of Grey books.
That was until I walked into the jury holding room that morning. As soon as I walked into the room and was asked what my profession was and was given a number, I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm going to get picked. I tried to ignore it. I told myself I was just being silly, there are hundreds of people in this room. But you always know when you're right about these things. Sure enough, within 30 minutes, my number was called and I was brought to a courtroom with 30 other weary souls.
The prosecution went first going around the room and asking us all the same questions, where we worked, where our family worked, if we'd been in a car accident before, and if we understood that this case had a lesser burden of proof than a criminal case so we had to "weigh the evidence and decide what more than likely happened." I will never be able to erase that phrase from my memory since he repeated it to all 30 of us with the exact same emphasis on "Ev-i-DENCE" doing an imitation of a scale with his arms raised on either side of his face, wrists turned up, wobbling.
I got the same feeling again in the pit of my stomach as they went around the room. I knew they were going to pick me! Sure enough, I was one of twelve names read some time after by the judge.
Luckily, the case was a short one and only required two more days of missed work. And I also found myself extremely interested in not only the case but on the goings on in the courtroom. During breaks I was fantasizing my career as a stenographer. Working 9-4 with an hour lunch break downtown to do some shopping and eat at trendy restaurants and going from court room to court room hearing interesting cases. These daydreams took place while I was in the jury room with the rest of my 11 peers as I, yes, pumped breast milk with only a nursing cover for privacy. Luckily these 11 peers all turned out to be some of nicest, most considerate, and unbelievably like-minded people that I could've possibly been lumped with when you consider all of the people that live in Cook County! I was lucky in that aspect.
We were able to deliberate and come back with a verdict and a monetary amount within an hour.
What was the case you ask? Little old lady turning left on a green light (not arrow), driver coming through the intersection the other way also has a green light and hits little old lady. Unfortunately for little old lady, the other driver turns out to be a psycho who has panic attacks onset by spiders, confined places, and the fear of there not being enough water bottles. YES! YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY!!! And apparently due to this accident, she still has panic attacks on a daily basis, was committed to a partial hospitalization program for 6 weeks for post traumatic stress 2 years after the accident, did 7 months of additional physically therapy after having met her "goals" within 3 visits, can't drive at night, and still sees a therapist once a week. All of this due to an accident that took place 4 years ago while going approx 30mph!!!!
Her slimy ambulance chasing lawyer actually had the nerve to ask for $288,000 for this crazy broad because of loss of normal life (past and future) and pain & suffering. I almost PFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT in the courtroom when that amount was read. In the end, justice was served and though we did have to side with the crazies because granny was at fault for the accident, damages awarded were less than the defense offered, so I'm sure granny's insurance covered everything. The only thing we couldn't help her with was the lawyer fees which were probably extensive after 4 years of refusing to settle out of court. Crazy should've taken her money and run!
It was definitely an experience! Everyone goes to jury duty hoping to not be picked, and I was no different.
I received my first summons when Johanna was about a month old. I called them and was forced to mail in a letter along with a copy of her birth certificate to prove that I was unable to serve. I then received another summons in the mail in August. I called again to say that I was still breastfeeding my child and could not serve, but apparently you are only expected to breastfeed your kids for 6 months bc the nightmare on the other end of the line at the 1800-go-to-hell Cook County office indifferently rebutted that I had already been given a 6 month extension and that's all I get. So even though it was a particularly busy week at work, I accepted my fate.
As it got closer, I thought, this actually won't be so bad. I'll just go sit there all day. I can take my new iPad (it's for "work", at least paid for by them anyway) and stream Netflix or finally start the oh-so-terribly written 50 Shades of Grey books.
That was until I walked into the jury holding room that morning. As soon as I walked into the room and was asked what my profession was and was given a number, I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm going to get picked. I tried to ignore it. I told myself I was just being silly, there are hundreds of people in this room. But you always know when you're right about these things. Sure enough, within 30 minutes, my number was called and I was brought to a courtroom with 30 other weary souls.
The prosecution went first going around the room and asking us all the same questions, where we worked, where our family worked, if we'd been in a car accident before, and if we understood that this case had a lesser burden of proof than a criminal case so we had to "weigh the evidence and decide what more than likely happened." I will never be able to erase that phrase from my memory since he repeated it to all 30 of us with the exact same emphasis on "Ev-i-DENCE" doing an imitation of a scale with his arms raised on either side of his face, wrists turned up, wobbling.
I got the same feeling again in the pit of my stomach as they went around the room. I knew they were going to pick me! Sure enough, I was one of twelve names read some time after by the judge.
Luckily, the case was a short one and only required two more days of missed work. And I also found myself extremely interested in not only the case but on the goings on in the courtroom. During breaks I was fantasizing my career as a stenographer. Working 9-4 with an hour lunch break downtown to do some shopping and eat at trendy restaurants and going from court room to court room hearing interesting cases. These daydreams took place while I was in the jury room with the rest of my 11 peers as I, yes, pumped breast milk with only a nursing cover for privacy. Luckily these 11 peers all turned out to be some of nicest, most considerate, and unbelievably like-minded people that I could've possibly been lumped with when you consider all of the people that live in Cook County! I was lucky in that aspect.
We were able to deliberate and come back with a verdict and a monetary amount within an hour.
What was the case you ask? Little old lady turning left on a green light (not arrow), driver coming through the intersection the other way also has a green light and hits little old lady. Unfortunately for little old lady, the other driver turns out to be a psycho who has panic attacks onset by spiders, confined places, and the fear of there not being enough water bottles. YES! YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY!!! And apparently due to this accident, she still has panic attacks on a daily basis, was committed to a partial hospitalization program for 6 weeks for post traumatic stress 2 years after the accident, did 7 months of additional physically therapy after having met her "goals" within 3 visits, can't drive at night, and still sees a therapist once a week. All of this due to an accident that took place 4 years ago while going approx 30mph!!!!
Her slimy ambulance chasing lawyer actually had the nerve to ask for $288,000 for this crazy broad because of loss of normal life (past and future) and pain & suffering. I almost PFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT in the courtroom when that amount was read. In the end, justice was served and though we did have to side with the crazies because granny was at fault for the accident, damages awarded were less than the defense offered, so I'm sure granny's insurance covered everything. The only thing we couldn't help her with was the lawyer fees which were probably extensive after 4 years of refusing to settle out of court. Crazy should've taken her money and run!
10.08.2012
Roll Call
I'm so behind - I'll just list the highlights of the last couple of months!
8/10 Huey Lewis & The News at Ravinia. Great time Nacho, Marisa, Cain, & Carmen!
8/12 White Sox Game/Morton Fundraiser. We ate at "The Patio" and enjoyed overpriced ballpark beers. I don't think we ever made it to our seats. 2 "adult" outings in one weekend? Things are getting kind of crazy in this household!
8/25 Celebrated Johanna's cousin, Martin III's, baptism.
9/2 3rd Annual Jaquez Labor Day Theme Party - Toddlers & Tiaras! More pics to come.
9/3 We visit Brookfield Zoo with the Fueger Family and catch the dolphin show for the first time.
9/8 Our first overnight trip away from Johanna. Berto's sister, Carol, offers to watch her so we can go to our friend Scott's wedding in Indiana. We saw many long lost Millikin friends and had a great time!
9/21 My parents visit from California and we go to Jonamac Orchard in Malta, IL. As it's close to the Rochelle area, it turned into a walk down memory lane complete with a trip to Yen Ching in DeKalb.
9/22 My parents and I go to Berto's freshman game and get VIP seats inside the nice warm coaches box instead of on the bleachers thanks to Johanna! That night my parents offer to babysit and we have a nice night out to Buffalo Wild Wings with Nacho & Marisa.
9/23 We have a nice brunch for my cousin Anna's birthday downtown at Hub51 and then visit her current workplace, Obama for America's National Campaign Headquarters. We get a full tour and Johanna is of course a big hit. This pic from our visit helped Anna win a visit with Michelle Obama!
9/29 Family get together at Michael Anthony's to celebrate Martin II's college graduation!
9/30 Brunch at Louisa's to celebrate a "milestone" with her company!
10/7 I run the Chicago Marathon. No training. Still breastfeeding. Every bit as miserable as it sounds. A couple years ago, a 6 hour marathon finish would have been such an embarrassment to me! Seriously, I would've agonized over it. Today, I'm just happy that I finished. Yesterday afternoon and this morning have been a struggle to get around. Luckily Berto was very helpful with Johanna all day yesterday and is off work today for Columbus Day to be with her as I can barely pick her up let alone chase after her. It feels like I will hopefully only lose one toenail.
Johanna seems like she will be walking soon enough even though she's not even 9 months until next week! I swear she started pulling herself up to standing and started cruising on furniture like 2 days after she started crawling. She has a little lawnmower type walker and she practically runs with it. She really just needs work on her balance. Once she has that - LOOK OUT!
She is also eating and sleeping up a storm! For the last month or so, she's pretty much slept 10 hours, every night, no interruptions. She will eat anything she can get her hands on, but she really enjoys adult food more than the baby foods. She'll eat puffs or the Gerber snacks, but she would much rather have bites of whatever mommy and daddy are eating. She likes, rice, beans, all soups but especially tomato, bananas, and all pastas and breads. Even with no teeth yet, she is mashing it up and swallowing it all down. I wish I could upload videos on here, because I have some great ones of her reactions to eating limes and oranges. And of her laughing. She is now extremely ticklish and LOVES when we tickle her. I can watch the videos of her giggling and squealing ALL DAY!!
In her Bears game day gear!
Helping with the laundry
Playing with Daddy's sunglasses
Happy girl!
8/10 Huey Lewis & The News at Ravinia. Great time Nacho, Marisa, Cain, & Carmen!
8/12 White Sox Game/Morton Fundraiser. We ate at "The Patio" and enjoyed overpriced ballpark beers. I don't think we ever made it to our seats. 2 "adult" outings in one weekend? Things are getting kind of crazy in this household!
8/25 Celebrated Johanna's cousin, Martin III's, baptism.
9/2 3rd Annual Jaquez Labor Day Theme Party - Toddlers & Tiaras! More pics to come.
9/3 We visit Brookfield Zoo with the Fueger Family and catch the dolphin show for the first time.
9/8 Our first overnight trip away from Johanna. Berto's sister, Carol, offers to watch her so we can go to our friend Scott's wedding in Indiana. We saw many long lost Millikin friends and had a great time!
9/21 My parents visit from California and we go to Jonamac Orchard in Malta, IL. As it's close to the Rochelle area, it turned into a walk down memory lane complete with a trip to Yen Ching in DeKalb.
9/22 My parents and I go to Berto's freshman game and get VIP seats inside the nice warm coaches box instead of on the bleachers thanks to Johanna! That night my parents offer to babysit and we have a nice night out to Buffalo Wild Wings with Nacho & Marisa.
9/23 We have a nice brunch for my cousin Anna's birthday downtown at Hub51 and then visit her current workplace, Obama for America's National Campaign Headquarters. We get a full tour and Johanna is of course a big hit. This pic from our visit helped Anna win a visit with Michelle Obama!
9/29 Family get together at Michael Anthony's to celebrate Martin II's college graduation!
9/30 Brunch at Louisa's to celebrate a "milestone" with her company!
10/7 I run the Chicago Marathon. No training. Still breastfeeding. Every bit as miserable as it sounds. A couple years ago, a 6 hour marathon finish would have been such an embarrassment to me! Seriously, I would've agonized over it. Today, I'm just happy that I finished. Yesterday afternoon and this morning have been a struggle to get around. Luckily Berto was very helpful with Johanna all day yesterday and is off work today for Columbus Day to be with her as I can barely pick her up let alone chase after her. It feels like I will hopefully only lose one toenail.
Johanna seems like she will be walking soon enough even though she's not even 9 months until next week! I swear she started pulling herself up to standing and started cruising on furniture like 2 days after she started crawling. She has a little lawnmower type walker and she practically runs with it. She really just needs work on her balance. Once she has that - LOOK OUT!
She is also eating and sleeping up a storm! For the last month or so, she's pretty much slept 10 hours, every night, no interruptions. She will eat anything she can get her hands on, but she really enjoys adult food more than the baby foods. She'll eat puffs or the Gerber snacks, but she would much rather have bites of whatever mommy and daddy are eating. She likes, rice, beans, all soups but especially tomato, bananas, and all pastas and breads. Even with no teeth yet, she is mashing it up and swallowing it all down. I wish I could upload videos on here, because I have some great ones of her reactions to eating limes and oranges. And of her laughing. She is now extremely ticklish and LOVES when we tickle her. I can watch the videos of her giggling and squealing ALL DAY!!
Helping with the laundry
Playing with Daddy's sunglasses
Happy girl!
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